On November 13, 2024, at Fourth Church in Chicago, I had the honor and privilege of eulogizing my longtime friend Ruth. For inspiration, I used the scripture: 1 John 4: 16 – 19

So we have known and believe the love God has for us. God is love, and those who abide in love abide in God, and God abides in them. Love has been perfected among us in this: that we may have boldness on the day of judgment, because as God is, so are we in this world. There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear; for fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not reached perfection in love. We love because God first loved us. 1 John 4: 16-19

              When I took to social media to let the world know that we had lost our beloved Ruth, there was a flurry of common friends who posted how much they had loved her, too.  They called her fabulous and larger than life, said things like she was “a force to be reckoned with” and “a national treasure.” Over and over again, as she was described in social media, so many people called her one word: fearless.

Whether it was her trailblazing career or her love of dance and travel, she amazed everyone who knew her. My son at one point realized that she was an executive in the publishing world even before women were allowed to own their own property or have their own credit cards and he asked her, “How in the world did you do it?! How did you get ahead at a time like that!” She responded without missing a beat, “oh Sam, I just paid double, and I paid cash!” Nothing could stop Ruth. I don’t know if you all know this, but late in her seventies, after she retired from the church, she signed up to be a bodyguard in the country of Colombia. (yes, she really did that.) The Presbyterian Church had created a program to keep its pastors safer, knowing that when Americans were present, they would bring a higher level or safety and peace. With Americans around, pastors were safer.  So Ruth signed up! To her, I believe it was a cheap way to visit a country that she has never been to before. She went and had a ball and came back with stories of mud baths in volcanic hot springs and weekends in local markets.

              It is true, with her love of life and adventure, she truly lived a fearless life.  We could all tell stories to prove this to be true. I have more than I can count, but let me just share a few:

              Ruth always owned a car, even though she lived mostly in cities and took public transportation 98% of the time. But she firmly believed that you needed to own a car, just because you needed your freedom, and because you might want to go for a drive sometimes.  Her advice to me was always: Make sure you own your own car, and it should always be red, and it should always be a convertible.  She kept her license well into her nineties, and her convertible with it.

              Ruth always supported me, especially through my journey into seminary and throughout my ordination process. So I was excited to call her and invite her to my ordination.  Unsurprisingly, she said “Cath! I can’t do that. I planned a trip to Uzbekistan nine months ago. I can’t change the flight.” And so, I loving gave her permission to miss my ordination, and she brought me back a bracelet and celebrated with me three weeks late.  She was fearless. And always that fearlessness was rooted in God’s love.

              During COVID (which was hard on her), she continued her avid golfing. She called around the Chicago area and found a course on the Southside that would open for her and let her golf alone. She was only there once, and the staff there realized she was so much fun, that they decided to escort her through the course, mostly just to hang out with her. And when her back hurt too much to drive to the Southside, she would still practice her putting after 10pm in the halls of The Clare. Ruth was fearless and unstoppable.

              Just because she was unstoppable though, doesn’t necessarily mean that she was always kind.  Yes, I know, Ruth could be very critical, and I am sure each and every one of us in this room has been yelled at by Ruth at some point in time!  (Can I get a show of hands? Yep, all of us.) And so, let me just say – on behalf of God, me, and Ruth herself – I am sorry!Whether it was running the dishwasher on a cycle that was too long (it should always be energy-saver) or not proofing a newsletter to utter perfection, Ruth could be very critical.  She would listen to my sermons online, and when she couldn’t find anything else wrong, she would sometimes just shake her head and say, “I don’t know Cath. You were awfully stiff.” If there was no other criticism… I was still too stiff.  I believe deeply though, that the reason that Ruth could be so harsh in this way came from her deep faith, and the utter belief that God’s world could be more perfect.  She was this way because Ruth wanted a better world for us all, full of God’s perfect love, and she was not afraid to say it. Again, no fear.

              Not only was Ruth a life-long adventurer, she was also a life-long learner too. Probably the most profound moment of understanding I had regarding this was one night when we were sitting in the train station waiting for the train. Based on who we had been at dinner with, Ruth out of the blue said to me, “you know, I was raised to have an inherent mistrust of Black people and of immigrants.” And she went on to share that growing up in the 30s and 40s, she was exposed to the propaganda of the time. As she shared this, she emphatically said, “I must eradicate that fear from my own heart.” And she did. Ruth asked me to hold her accountable, and challenge her as she changed her views.  So even when she felt fear, she faced it head on… fearless with God’s love.

              And that story means so much more, when you realize that four years later, she welcomed my biracial son into this world like he was her own grandchild.

              In her final years, I would often ask her what help she needed. I mean, in the age of Amazon, I could send her anything. But her reply was always the same. She would say, “I will rely on the only thing I’ve had since the very beginning… my faith in God. It is the only help I’ve had throughout my life, and it is all I need now.” In good times and in bad, Ruth only needed God.

              In life and in death – and now in resurrection – Ruth embodied the idea that God’s perfect love truly does cast out all fear. And in knowing and loving each of us, our beloved Ruth can teach us to do the same.  Whether it was dancing with Quentin, holiday meals with Nancy and Laura, or the many, many, many champagne brunches we all enjoyed, Ruth embodied a love of this word that could cast out all fears. And she invited us into a life where we could do the same.  Would that we all follow Ruth’s lead and answer that call – to live fearlessly in God’s love. Amen.